Fate of Pak democracy - Promised column - Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro (Come Off It, Folks)

It is astounding how we mortals often take our own selves more seriously than what we are. A clear example is the struggle going on within Pakistan. Perhaps it is because we take up a principle and weave our lives and often our businesses around it. Once that principle is out of vogue or has changed beyond trace (oh yes, the principles that we prefer to call 'universal truths' or deep rooted principles also change with time), we find ourselves really in a fix. More pitiable is the state of those with a trace of opportunism who gamble emphatically on grounds of some principles or their semblance (of faith, society, politics, economy or even science in some medieval cases), lose and then fail to find a way out of the catch 22 situation. There is no gainsaying that the last eight years in Pakistan and the last six around the world were most polarising in our history. Thanks to Osama bin Laden and his al Qaeda, the neo-cons, dictatorship in Pakistan, assassination of key Pakistani politicians and of course the wide industry that has grown benefitting from the polarity has jolted the moorings of the human civilisation and our own culture. The trick in these testing times, for those who stayed away from the gamble or were mature enough to mend their ways before a total collapse, is to buy the entire Hitchhiker series by Douglas Adams and lose themselves in the study.

I do not know anything else but to be honest a prolonged taste for JK Rowling, Philip Pullman, CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien does a sad thing to you. All the grand talk of destiny, the chosen one, decisive battles and an imminent threat to the civilisation gives you a fake sense of urgency, mission and an illusion of self-import. That is not true folks. A mortal is just a mortal. Let us not insult our own intelligence by giving ourselves more importance than what we deserve. I, therefore, spend quite some time with the reality checks that I have obtained from Douglas Adam's above mentioned series. Anyway, the purpose of this long monologue was just to remind you what awful things we are doing right now to ourselves. Once you come to terms with the ever changing, ruthless and demanding nature of the universe you stop bickering and start settling. Unfortunately, the people and the influentials of the democratic republic have not yet learnt the virtues or the art of a comfortable confession: 'I know I can be wrong too' with hands gently up in the air.

If you look closely, this all boils down to the fact that so nicely characterised in Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels in the shape of Lilliputians going to war with Blefuscudians on matters as vital as that of the correct way to eat a boiled egg. Folks, let us for a second stop magnifying small issues, making mountains out of molehills and freeing up our brain's disk space for a change. Boiled eggs will be eaten in different fashions as long as we are civilised enough not to prefer them raw.

Ever since the February 18 elections we have been hearing terrible predictions. First a PTV-turned-web-lobbyist-turned-columnist published on his website benighted predictions like the assassination of the remaining coalition leaders, then there was the sudden sympathy for a purportedly wronged Amin Fahim, snags in government formation in Balochistan and the NWFP, then the Sindh government, and now the chances of a split between the coalition partners on the issue of the deposed judges. They have been repeatedly proven wrong in the past. Can they prove themselves right now? As expected the beleaguered faces of some PML(Q) leaders are shining with hope. If PML-N parts its ways with the PPP government, will the leaders of the latter not come on knees to the Chaudhries of Gujrat to save the system? Well frankly I think not. Messrs Zardari and Nawaz Sharif have repeatedly proven these speculations wrong with deft handling and an unprecedented display of statecraft. From where I stand I cannot see any immediate threat to democracy. I am sure that the deposed judges will be restored. I am sure that the stakeholders in the government(s) will work in tandem. Chaudhry sahab, kindly repack your shervani and all you fans of a beleaguered president stop celebrating prematurely. No, your turn does not come at the very least before the end of the current assembly's term five years later - and if I am in my right sense, never. Those who are playing to wreck the system from without or within just to protect a failed regime should wake up or their children will have to change their second names in order to stay away from their parent's bankrupt legacies. The ideal example for everyone who stands in the way of the new order is that of Arbab Ghulam Rahim. Follow his example folks and you will be blessed with a quieter life.

The problem why we are more or less having an exaggerated view of things all the time owes itself to two factors. First, the long shadow of dictatorship that the country is so painstakingly trying to emerge out of. Second, our own jittery attitudes and the prolonged drought of spirits caused by this terrible legacy of the dictatorial rule. The shadow of dictatorship had penetrated and seriously damaged every institution of the country and all subcultures. It is quite natural for those who have lost not to accept defeat that readily. While it may not be visible to many and they themselves may not realise it, but they have already been defeated in that context too. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to do that, you only need a little bit of patience. The second is of more serious nature because here again we manifest the knack of taking ourselves too seriously. Since under a dictatorial rule institutions lose their boundaries, those who have suffered have developed an erratic behaviour too. I hope you remember that during Musharraf's more than 3,000 days of rule, there seldom was talk of deadlines. But in comes a new government and we have the talk of a 100-day deadline and a 30-day deadline already. It is true that the coalition has itself pledged this, but folks frankly what is the matter with us? When the new government is so eager to please us, can we at least not show our trust? Can we not show that we are ungovernable under any other form of rule except dictatorship? The biggest challenge to our cause comes in the shape of our own impatience. Here is the actual issue. Those who have won are not guarding alone against dictatorship. They have to survive, ensure that the federation survives and protect the transition in a failsafe way. Since the neo-cons are now so vehemently supporting Musharraf's cause and even pressuring the Pakistan army, we need to remember that the transition will not be complete before the November presidential elections in the US. Till then the new government will have to survive by broadening its base and standing together tightly. May I suggest till then an extensive reading of Douglas Adams would do?